


Despairing Romantics (wolfstar)

by pynchs



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M, Sirius Black & James Potter Friendship, flirting sirius black, nerd james potter, sirius and remus - Freeform, wolfstar, wolfstar fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-02
Updated: 2015-12-02
Packaged: 2018-05-04 11:08:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5331968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pynchs/pseuds/pynchs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's the summer of sixth year and the marauders are spending their time at James Potter's house. During this eventful summer, Sirius Black desperately pines after a rather oblivious Remus Lupin and James Potter actively attempts to play matchmaker. </p><p>(this is quite obviously a get together fic. yeah, spoilers)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Despairing Romantics (wolfstar)

Sirius Black flopped down on the twin sized bed that belonged to James Potter with a sigh. He leaned his face against the blue and white striped comforter with a feeling of hopelessness deep rooted in his chest. James stood next to the closet, tugging on a gray t shirt over his arms before turning to look at his friend, who had just begun to say his name.

 

“James,” Sirius began, his voice filled with self pity. “Prongs, light of my life.” James peered at him with obvious amusement through his round rimmed glasses he had just placed on the bridge of his nose. His hair was still damp from the lake. Sirius’s hair, however was soaking wet, as curly hair took longer to dry, and a few droplets of water dripped onto the bedspread. Sirius thought to the lake, the four of them, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew being the two others, whom were still outside, swimming in the lake near James’s house. The house they had occupied for the summer over the last five years. He began to think about Remus without really trying to, how his bare ribcage moved in the water whenever he took a breath, the drops of water that wept down his bare skinned chest, the way he shook his ginger hair like a wolf when he came up for air after being submerged in the murky water. Sirius breathed in slowly, until all he could breathe in was anxiety. He had never had anxiety before, not in the slightest. “I think I fancy Moony.” He admitted, feeling all of the intake of air flush out of him as color flushed his cheeks.

 

Instead of turning around in the manner he had expected, James let out a soft laugh and turned slowly to face him. “No shit.” A grin casts across his face. “Peter and I have been speculating about it since you lot arrived. You never take your bloody eyes off him.”

 

Face flushing even harder, Sirius rolls over onto his back, peering at James upside down. “This can’t be happening, Prongs. I like Moony, like really really like Moony.”

 

For the past few days, since he arrived at James Potter’s house four days ago, Sirius has felt utter turmoil coursing through his body. Never in a million years would he think that he would ever have a crush on one of his friends, but here he is fantasizing about the lake water dripping off Remus’s chest. Everything inside of him aches and longs.

 

“It’s not a big deal-” James begins just as the door to his room creaks open. Remus ambles in, his hair still teeming, Peter following suit. Peter’s blonde hair is sopping wet and he’s carrying a chocolate chip cookie in between his fingers. Sirius sits up rather quickly, shooting the boy with the glasses a fairly rude look to shut up right as James shuts his mouth tightly.

 

“What are you two talking about?” Remus asks with an eyebrow raised, sensing the tension that settled over the room once the two walked in. Of course he’d sense tension considering _Sirius just admitted his feelings to James which he never does._ He never talks about his feelings that often, even with James and here he was ten seconds ago saying he fancies someone. And not just someone, but _Moony_. Literal Moony, who he’s been friends with for five years. They’ve shared the same bed. Smoked the same cigarettes, well it was Sirius’s and he pressured Remus into trying it. Remus had coughed dramatically for the next half hour and totally killed Sirius’s buzz with worry. They’ve bared canine fangs at each other in the _moonlight._ Romantic stuff, but nevertheless, he actually has feelings for Remus Lupin.

 

Red in the face, Sirius stared at him. “Nothing Moony, just some guy talk, you wouldn’t get it.” He informed, making sure to add as much belittling sarcasm into his tone. That was his way of doing things after all.

 

Glowering at him with a hint of confusion in his face, Remus leaned against the wall next to the door, staring back. “I _am_ presumably a guy, Sirius.”

 

The way he said Sirius made Sirius’s stomach unfold in ways he didn’t know was possible. “Yes, but that’s not the _point,_ my friend.” He stared back even more.

 

Remus matched the stare and then some. “What _is_ the point, then?”

 

Too much tension, too much weirdness, but Sirius couldn’t stop. Just as he began to open his mouth for another retort, James jumped up from the seat he had been occupying moments before. “Oi, okay, okay.” He began with a strained, nervous smile, standing in the middle of Remus and Sirius, blocking Sirius’s view of Remus, although he was sure he was still staring with that baffled, charming look on his face.

 

James turned, looking Sirius dead in the eye. “My mom should have dinner ready by now, let’s go eat.” Nodding back, and grateful for the subject change, Sirius jumped off the bed and followed James out through the door and into the hallway, refusing to catch Remus’s eye, although indirect eye contact was enough to notice the amused look casted across Moony’s face.

 

***

 

That night, as all four of them laid soundlessly in the dark of James’s room, the taste of alcohol still present on his lips, Sirius tried desperately to keep the thoughts of Remus out of his mind.

 

He could feel James beside him, his chest rising and falling with each breath, the two of them huddled together on his blue and white striped bed. Peter was asleep on a spare mattress Mrs. Potter had brought up, and Remus was asleep on the chair, curled up inside of himself. He was so innate, he could quite literally fall asleep anywhere. It was the wolf inside of him, sometimes if he was really tired, as he often was, especially after full moons, he could even fall asleep sitting up. Straight as a post. Sirius recalled one divination class the morning after a full moon when Moony had been so fitfully exhausted he had fallen asleep in his chair. The professor had hardly noticed since the only difference from an awake Remus and an asleep Remus at this point was the fact that his eyes were closed now. About twenty minutes later his head had fallen ungracefully onto Sirius’s shoulder where it had rested the rest of the class.

 

“You’re staring.” A voice whispered beside him, causing Sirius to quickly look away and to nearly jump out of his skin. James looked up at him, an excited and entertained twinkle in his eyes. He reminded Sirius of some of the second and third year girls who swooned over him.

 

“No I am not.” Sirius hissed back before rolling over to face the wall, no longer being able to stare at Remus but no longer having to look at James. Just as he tried to fall asleep, he felt a finger poke at his back two times. There was going to be about one less marauder in a moment and it was going to be James. “Cut it out, Prongs.”

 

James laughed quietly, poking Sirius in the back one last time. In a moment, Sirius could hear the rustling of bedsheets as James rolled over, facing away from him. “You’ve caught bloody feelings, my friend.”

 

Sirius felt himself smile despite the gut wrenching feeling subsiding in his stomach. _What a git my best friend is._

*******

 

The night air was cold against Sirius’s cheek as he took another drag of his cigarette. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Remus looking distastefully at it while he took a sip out of a bottle of whiskey. The alcohol went straight to his face, and his cheeks were rosy and warm. In these moments, his hair wasn’t the most vibrant thing about him, nor were his soft, sometimes barely visible freckles. Sirius smirked with the cigarette still in his mouth. “Want a smoke Moony?” He asked, which resulted in a speech on how disgusting cigarettes were and a frowned look from Remus.

 

“I’ll have it.” Interrupted James, who took it out from between Sirius’s lips before he could protest at the fact that James had his own pack six feet away. James was too drunk to notice and Sirius was too buzzed to care. Peter sat beside them near the burning fire, taking a drink of his own bottle of whiskey. Out of all of them, Peter was the easiest to forget about, despite Remus’s quiet, taken back demeanor. How could Sirius ever forget Remus? “Oi!” James exclaimed, grabbing Sirius’s hand, which he took fondly, smiling earnestly at James.

 

Smirking, “Well Prongs, let’s not get all grabby handsy over here.” Sirius said, which James replied with a tasteless finger.

 

“Let’s play truth or dare.” James suggested, reaching for the whiskey bottle out of Peter’s hands. As Peter offered it to him, Sirius reached across, blocking it off. He always knew when James had had enough and now seemed like the perfect time to cut it off.

 

The suggestion of truth or dare earned a sigh from Peter and a laugh from Sirius. “Truth or dare? Are we going to braid each other’s hair afterwards?” He questioned, earning a side smile from Remus.

 

“Yeah,” Remus joined in. “What are we twelve?” When he spoke, he wasn’t as sophisticated or articulated as he usually was. Whiskey worked wonders, muggles drink. “I mean, it’s not a terrible idea, just a terrible idea for four sixteen year old boys, I dare say.”

 

“Honestly shut up, Remus, we’re playing truth or dare. As long as you’re drinking the alcohol my parents paid for.” James shut back, and that ended it. As long as they wanted to continue drinking they would be playing truth or dare.

 

Reaching for the bottle, Sirius grasped it with his fingers, pulling it to his lips. He was going to have to be excessively drunk to play truth or dare and he certainly wasn’t going to be the most sober one out of the group if they were playing truth or dare.

 

The air nips at his nose as he places the bottle on the ground. Despite it being the middle of summer, it’s surprisingly cold enough to chill his bones despite the alcohol coursing through his veins. Maybe if he were sober enough he would realize James’s ulterior meaning of this innocent game of truth or dare, but Sirius remained oblivious up until the third time Remus went.

 

“Truth or dare,” James began, before hastily adding, “And if you pick truth like you did the last two turns I will throw you in the lake.”

 

“Well, just to play it safe I suppose I’ll go with dare, then. As you assumably leave me little choice.” Remus replied carelessly. The alcohol had begun to set in and his eyes begun to droop ever so slightly. His dangerously sleepy Moony. Sirius was sure he was quite obviously swooning.

 

James grinned from ear to ear, glancing over all of them, his eyes lingering on Sirius. Although he should’ve noticed what was going down, he remained oblivious. “Excellent choice my friend.” James smiled, before pulling a fake look as if he had to think about the dare. After a few moments, he grinned again. “I dare you to kiss Padfoot.”

 

Spitting out the sip of whiskey he had just taken, Sirius sat up in his chair, presuming a coughing fit. Remus joined him, looking dumbfounded. “Why?” He questioned when he could finally speak again, his eyebrow cocked. “What kind of dare is that?”

 

Suddenly the fear of rejection is much worse than the fear of kissing Remus in the dead of night while the four of them play drunk truth or dare. Technically, actually, it’s only three considering Peter passed out half an hour ago. Sirius shoots a glare in James’s directions, receiving a smirk in return. “I just wanted to make things interesting.” James explains, mock defensively. “You don’t _have_ to kiss him. You can just lose.”

 

And that decided it. Remus was definitely going to kiss Sirius. Despite his quiet disposition, Remus was inwardly the most competitive person Sirius had ever had the pleasure of meeting, and he most certainly wasn’t about to lose. “Okay fine, it’s not a bloody big deal.” He began, getting up before pausing. “Only if you’re okay with it?” He asked Sirius. Sirius nodded back, saying something about how nothing is a big deal when it comes to truth or dare.

 

“Oh no, no, no.” James interjects, crossing his arms. “In the woods. It can’t just be some flimsy kiss. And I will _know_ whether you kissed or not. And then you will _lose.”_

“This is getting ridiculous, Padfoot.” Sirius replies, but all James does is smirk at him. As if he _wants_ it to go down like this. He wants it to go down in a romantic or cute way, not in a wasted, competitive way, but he figures he’s just going to have to settle. If Remus still decides to do it. As if answering his question, Remus takes Sirius’s hand, determination in his eyes as he drags Sirius to the woods.

 

He’s practically grumbling by the time they reach ten feet into the woods. “What a scatterbrain!” He exclaims, which indicates how truly drunk Remus is, to actually use a word like scatterbrain.

 

Remus doesn’t want to do it, which is clear to Sirius now. “We don’t have to do it, Moony.” Sirius points out. “It’s like a necessary thing. It’s a stupid game of truth or dare.”

 

“I _know_ we don’t have to do it.” Remus counters, his speech slightly slurred. “And it’s not as if I don’t want to do it, just, just not like this. I don’t want to kiss you like this.”

 

The Earth stops rotating for a few moments. The forest seems to go silent, and Sirius can hear his heart beating in his chest. Remus Lupin just implied that he _wanted_ to kiss him. Actual Remus Lupin wants to kiss him. When the feeling comes back to his body, he finally breathes out, trapped air escaping his lungs. “How do you want to kiss me, then?” He asks, almost afraid to ask. Remus looks scared and hungry, as if any word might set him off, running away. He looks unstable, illuminated by the moon.

 

He sighs, before turning slightly away. “I don’t know but I don’t want it to be because of an idiotic dare.” He explains, locking eyes with Sirius. They have a moment of that, just staring at each other in the darkness, and it seems like all the pieces of the universe are stuck together. Remus Lupin wants to kiss Sirius Black and Sirius Black wants to do the same.

 

“So we don’t have to kiss, not like this, then.” Sirius replies, and Remus’s face softens. They are standing four feet apart but in a moment Remus has closed the gap between them, his hand on the back of Sirius’s neck. Sirius backs into a tree as Remus places his lips softly onto his own, kissing him. He can feel the bark from the tree on his back and the wet feeling of Remus’s lips. He can feel the way Remus’s body moves against him and everything seems okay in the universe. Moony is actually kissing him. He tangles his fingers through his soft, red locks of hair as Remus’s hands rest at his waist and it’s awkward, and sloppy, and he has no idea what’s going on, but it’s perfect. It’s perfect and it’s them. When they finally pull apart, Remus’s face is completely red and he’s wearing the happiest smile Sirius has seen on him in a while. “I kind of fancy you.” He breathes before he can change his mind.

 

“I kind of fancy you too.”

 


End file.
